Twenty-four

Twenty-four is a nice, round number.  Versatile, it adapts to many situations. It's useful, open. Divisible by 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 12 -- how gregarious! How very friendly! Who doesn't like 24? Perhaps 5, but if you have 3 on your side, who cares what 5 has to say.  So many odd numbers suck, 5 being among the foremost. 13, good grief, there's an awkward year -- now wonder we leave that one off elevators.  15? Ha! You're not driving Mr. Trying-to-be-an-Adult. Why don't you ask your brother to give you a ride to that date of yours?  17 is okay I suppose. 17 allows for a lot of forgiveness. You messed up? Of course you did, you're 17. You did well? Fantastic, you're becoming a respectable adult ahead of your time.  And 23... jesus 23.  If ever a number needed to gain or lose one, it was 23: what an uneven number.  Nobody likes you when you're 23. The only worse number I can think of is 33. But 24. That's a good one. That's a number you can trust.

Dira Cupido

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." -Kerouac

Aphorisms from the Hagakure

The Way of the Samurai is found in death. When it comes to either/or, there is only the quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one's aim is to die a dog's death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with teh choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one's aim. We all want to live. And in large part we make our logic according to what we like. But not having attained our aim and continuing to live is cowardice.

Thought by thought we see our own mistakes.

At the time when there was a council concerning the promotion of a certain man, the council members were at the point of deciding that promotion was useless because of the fact that the man had previous been involved in a drunken brawl. But someone said, "If we were to cast aside every man who had made a mistake once, useful men could probably not be come by. A man who makes a mistake once will be considerably more prudent and useful because of his repentance. I feel that he should be promoted."
Someone then asked, "Will you guarantee him?"
The man replied, "Of course I will."
The others asked, "By what will you guarantee him?"
And he replied, "I can guarantee him by the fact that he is a man who has erred once. A man who has never once erred is dangerous."
This said, the man was promoted.

Above all, the Way of the Samurai should be in being aware that you do not know what is going to happen next. Victory and defeat are matters of the temporary force of circumstances. The way of avoiding shame is different. It is simply death. Even if it seems certain you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom nor technique has a place in this. A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams.

There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.

The Way of the Samurai is in desperateness. Ten men or more cannot kill such a man. Common sense will not accomplish great things. Simply become insane and desperate. Loyalty and devotion are of themselves within desperation.

It is bad when one thing becomes two. It is the same for anything that is called a Way.

Lesson of the Day:

A day without writing is a day forgotten.

Cowboy Junkies - Sweet Jane

An old classic. Somehow more classic than the original.

A Night of Death

I was coming out of the subway on Franklin and Eastern Parkway when, fifty feet in front of me, I watched a man chase another man, pull out a gun, and shoot at him twice. The shooter missed entirely, and stopped to futz with his gun before he looked around, and, for a second, stared directly at me--

At this point, you would think that I would have ducked, or ran the opposite direction, or been startled by the gunfire. You would think that I would think. I am not sure that I did.

Maybe I unconsciously calculated that this guy wasn't that accurate. Maybe I figured that if he really wanted to kill that guy, he would have fired more than two shots. Maybe I figured that if he was futzing with his gun, it probably was disabled for some reason. Maybe I was drunk.

But I just kept walking towards him. Sure it is possible that my brain unconsciously calculated that even in the given circumstances the chances of dying was low. Or I could have just been in shock. But really, I think I simply didn't care.
He sprinted off across the street and down the opposite corner.

My friend, Marcus Aurelius

Today, however, there are no models of good retainers. In light of this, it would be good to make a model to learn from. To do this, one should look at many people and choose from each person his best point only. For example, one person for politeness, one for bravery, one for the proper way of speaking, one for correct conduct and one for steadiness of mind. Thus will the model be made. -- Hagakure

My father: consistency; incomparable commitment; doing what needs to be done; the valuable lesson of how to like yourself.

My mother: the limits intelligence and ambition; responsibility; doing what is difficult; to always read; how to turn adversity into growth. How unpardonable it would have been of you to turn out a blockhead.

My grandmother: prudence, and planning. Her complete inability to do harm, or even conceive of doing it.

My oldest brother: how to start over; to do what you really want to do.

My middle brother: sarcasm; the art of arguing; jazz; how to stand up for yourself. Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself.

James: my love of drawing, and later, my love of art; emotional intensity and sensitivity; mildness; eternal friendship. Laundry Lights.

Dr. Rappaport: mentorship; philosophical inquiry -- the nature of goodness, beauty, love; a titan of scholarly thought; the value of what is old. What moved you?

Dr. Pelletier: not to believe everything Dr. Rappaport says. Albert, quit telling God what to do!

Lazar: how to study; loyalty and friendship.

Russ: expanding the boundaries of my conception of humor.

Quincy: that happiness is a choice we make every day.

Mrs. Dandlicker: sometimes the only solution is drilling, endless, repetition. I'll see you after school.

Fitzgerald: the dream defines you. Sure it may not be possible, but it might be -- there's only a chance if you can imagine it. He stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling.

Dr. Lucic: that true intelligence is a zen-like clarity that cannot be taught, but can be embodied. Is this necessary?

Dr. Adams: how to discuss 3-dimensional space. Sometimes I think the whole of art history could be rewritten as an analysis of corners. Yes, corners: the way in which one plane intersects ...another.

Dr. Epstein: how to talk about subjects I know nothing about. You can't learn during a first reading. You can't learn in a second reading. You have to read an reread and reread again. One who has read a portion on hundred times cannot compare with one who has read that portion 101 times.

Mr. Reedy: how to look at objects; how to render the abstract image in your head onto paper.

Dr. Peck: kindness; soft spoken success; the subtle victory. Are you using your gifts for or against the people?

Dr. Kane: that it's only natural. Nature's first green is gold.

Dr. Frank: that a guitar is so much cheaper than a shrink; for teaching me the challenges of expertise; that I can become intensely interested in just about anything.

Misha: the value of a dinner party; hospitality. Deipnosophist

Mr. Mulgrew: how to read (as a high schooler); a tremendous gift. We are what we read.

Dr. Weedin: how to read (as an undergraduate) every single jot and tittle. How true is it that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links, they are, chaining together great inaudible feeling and purposes.

Dr. Updegraff: for Latin. He has a shield of lion's hide, a lance with gleaming iron tip, and a javelin--and, better than all arms--his daring soul.


Mr. Feliu: that movies are a legitimate art form, not just a pass time.

Aeneas: you don't have to be perfect to be a hero; everyone does the very best they can, which is often very poor. Aeneas wept.

Socrates: so long as his character is unchanged, no one can harm the virtuous man. Socrates thinks he knows all the questions.

Melville: for a firm grasp of the ungraspable, an understanding of the unknowable, a measuring of the unfathomable; the awesome manliness of refusing to quit wrestling with these questions; the possibility of being consumed by them. Methinks that in looking at things spiritual, we are too much like oysters observing the sun through the water, and thinking that thick water the thinnest of air.

Rome: that how a society is built fundamentally defines its character.

Tatyana: the silliness of pretension. The universe might go to the devil, so long as I could go on drinking tea!

Violetta: how to master your emotions, even the most consuming of them all -- jealousy; loneliness.

Shi Heng Jun: the limits of a physical body. How to convert negative energy into positive outcomes. How to summon unrealized energy. How little I need to live.

Remo: local pride.

Jarow: Tarot; astrology; divine order; the tenuousness of reality, reason.

Lia: poetry; not to overlook what is small. Puddle-wonderful.

Robby: how very limiting academia is; the importance of not deceiving yourself.

Allie: classical music; how to feel a note. Elgar Cello Concerto in E Minor.

Nate: that anything can be a musical instrument, and anyone a musician.

Emily: love; kindness; the capability to open. And the heart of the boy beat, and he lowered his glance for the first time in his life and turned his modest eyes to the ground. And his glance sank to the river and rested on the image of the girl as it reflected with the morning star. (Scroll of Fire).

To writing: because I cannot comprehend what I cannot put into words. Let me speak, then, and find some relief.

To the world: your harmony is mine. Whatever time you choose is the right time. Not late, not early.